


would you take the wheel, if i lose control?

by thegreenfairy246



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Birthday Cake, Birthday Fluff, Coda, Episode Fix-It: s15e20 Carry On, Fix-It, Fluff, Happy Ending, Human Castiel (Supernatural), Love Confessions, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-22
Updated: 2020-11-22
Packaged: 2021-03-10 01:42:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,477
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27665597
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thegreenfairy246/pseuds/thegreenfairy246
Summary: the only real way for dean to spend eternity, happily, is with cas
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Kudos: 38





	would you take the wheel, if i lose control?

**Author's Note:**

> okay, listen, i'm not about to say i understand the rules of heaven. let's just all pretend this is how it works okay? because i think this is sweet. i stopped crying long enough today to write this, and i hope y'all like it💕

Dean's been in Heaven for what feels like a while when he takes a shot at wishing for something. He's operating mostly on faith. After all, Bobby was the one who'd told him he could have whatever he wanted. So he drives until he finds a bridge with a nice view, takes a chance, and prays.

"Cas? I, uh, I don't know how things work up here, but I hope you can hear me. I'm sorry for the last time we saw each other. I'm sorry I let you…" Dean trails off, the memory of that black sludge dragging Cas away getting caught in his throat. "I'm sorry I let you sacrifice yourself like that for me, and I couldn't even tell you- I couldn't even say the words." He shakes his head, trying to shake the guilt away. "Cas, I love you. Of course I love you. I should have told you then, or at least done something." He pauses. There are tears rolling down his cheeks and he's got to take a deep breath before he can continue. "But, listen, Cas, if you aren't too mad at me, could you stop by sometime? It'd be…man, it'd be really good to see you." 

Dean feels something lift off his chest as he speaks. He assumes he'll have to wait a while before Cas shows up. Helping God remake Heaven has gotta keep a guy busy. But when he turns around, aiming to get back in the Impala and go visit Bobby, there he is. 

He looks almost exactly like he did when the Empty took him. All that's missing is that smile of complete contentment. Now, he just looks nervous.

"Hello, Dean."

Dean crosses the distance between them and wraps his arms around him. He holds him like that for a long time before he's able to speak. When he does, it's only a whisper into Cas's neck. 

"Did you hear me?"

"I did."

Dean pulls back, looks Cas in the eyes. "I'm sorry I let you think you weren't loved, like you couldn't have what you really wanted. Man, if you ever felt like I didn't care about you…that's on me. I'm sor-"

Dean can't finish his sentence because Cas's lips are on his and his knees feel weak. It's something Dean has rarely let himself dream of, but it's better than he'd ever imagined. Eventually, Cas pulls away.

He shakes his head. "Dean. None of that matters now. We both…we both failed to communicate what we really wanted. But, don't you see? We can have it now. We have forever now. Anything we want, we can have it here."

It's only then that Dean realizes that Cas is right. This is Heaven, and Cas is here. Deep down, it feels like he was always supposed to end up here with him.

He can't help but smile. He leans in, kisses Cas again, just because he can, because he wants to. Too soon, he has to pull away to breathe. 

"You're right," he whispers against Cas's lips. Dean finds Cas's hand, laces their fingers, and squeezes. "Let's go make ourselves a home."

He walks Cas to the Impala and drives back the way he came. As he's driving, he keeps their hands intertwined together on the seat between them. All of a sudden, he's looking forward to eternity.

They make the drive in relative silence, the easy familiarity they've always shared keeping it from bleeding into awkwardness. When Harvelle's begins to show in the skyline, Cas speaks.

"I think you should turn towards the mountains."

"Yeah?" Dean hums, then nods. "Maybe we can find a lake or something. It's been a long time since I went fishing."

Cas smiles. "Perhaps. But there's something I want you to see first."

So Dean takes a turn and heads for the mountains. It's not in him anymore to deny either of them the things they want.

At the base of one mountain, right next to a lake, is a cabin. It's a rustic looking thing, just the right size, and he doesn't know what it means at first.

He turns to Cas. "Is it yours? You got yourself a place of your own?"

The tips of Cas's ears turn red. "It's actually- well, I meant it to be ours."

He's grinning before he can even think about it. "You want that?"

"I do." Cas smiles. "But, uh, only if you do."

Taking full advantage of his newfound ability to shut Cas up with kisses, he reaches out and finds Cas's cheek and connects their lips. 

When he breaks away, he murmurs, "You gonna show me around?"

Dean follows Cas through the hallways and rooms. Inside, there's a living room eerily similar to the Dean cave in the bunker. There's only one bedroom, which Dean is absurdly glad Cas chose. Near the back of the house, there's a library. Taking it in, Dean realizes there's a mix of both of their favorite books lining the shelves. Scattered across a few comfortable chairs are lots of blankets. It makes Dean feel domestic in a way he never thought he'd get.

That night, Dean falls asleep in the circle of Cas's arms.

When Dean wakes up the next day, he finds Cas already leaning against the headboard. He yawns, stretches, and sits up. 

"Morning, Cas." He can see the furrow between his brows, the nerves radiating from him. "You okay?"

He blows out a shaky breath. "I want, I want to become human."

"What?"

"I know we have an eternity here, and there's nothing looming over us to keep us apart. But, I want, I want to experience this the way you will. I want us to cook together. Although there's a certain peace in watching you sleep, I want to sleep myself, to wake up and feel rested." Cas smiles that contented smile that Dean has grown to love so much. "I want the love I feel for you to hit me the way it did all those years ago when I was human last."

Dean's a little bit dumbstruck by that, the adoration in Cas's voice and the weight of that sacrifice not lost on him. 

"Are you sure? You don't, Cas, you don't have to do that. You being here like this is enough for me."

"I know." Cas nods. "It's just not enough for me."

Dean does it this time. He makes sure it's peaceful. There's no fear, only love. So much love. He cradles Cas's face as he makes the slice on his neck. It takes no time at all for the blue light to pour out. Dean catches it in a small jar, he'd insisted on that, just in case Cas changed his mind. He wasn't about to have Cas of all people wind up resenting him. When it's done, he puts a bandaid on the cut and then kisses the spot. 

"There," he whispers. "That wasn't so bad."

Not too many days later, Dean wakes up to the smell of cake. He rolls out bed, finds his new favorite bathrobe. The thing had showed up one day as he was getting out of the shower. It's light blue and fuzzy and it makes Dean feel like he's always being hugged.

He finds the source of the smell in the kitchen. Cas, who looks incredibly stressed, has his tongue between his teeth as he ices a cake. The sight makes Dean's heart stutter. He's so in love with his angel.

"Whatcha doing there, Cas?"

His eyes wip up to look at Dean. "I was trying to surprise you. I made you a cake."

Dean makes his way to the kitchen, wraps his arms around Cas's waist, and rests his chin on his shoulder. 

"Thank you." He presses a kiss at the junction on his neck and shoulder. "Just for fun?"

"I want to celebrate your birthday."

Dimly, Dean realizes he's wished for this before, spending a normal birthday with the person he loves. 

"So you made me a cake?"

Cas sighs. "Well…I tried to."

Dean smiles and nuzzles his face against Cas's neck. "I love it, Cas." He squeezes him tighter. "I love you."

Cas drops the icing bag and squeezes Dean's hands. "I love you too."

They finish decorating it together. It's not the most gorgeous cake in the world, but Dean has never had a better one.

First, they watch Tombstone, again. Cas doesn't complain, even once, when Dean rattles off the dialogue before the actors do. Then, they spend the rest of the night curled up next to each other, reading. Dean doesn't remember a better birthday. 

At first, he'd felt lonely. Even with everything Jack and Cas had done, Heaven hadn't seemed like enough. But, now, spending eternity here with Cas…nothing has ever seemed so right.

**Author's Note:**

> hi! thank y'all for reading! if you liked it, you can follow me on tumblr @scoobydean


End file.
